Saturday, May 30, 2009

Marriage Compatibility - Is it Even Worth Considering?

One of the many questions that people ask when they have been dating for a while is "Are we compatible for marriage?"

Society shows that divorces are lower in couples who come from the same age groups, with similar backgrounds, same socio-economic groups, and similar faiths and belief systems.

There are reasons for this. Maybe if both persons grew up in a poor neighbourhood they would be able to cope better when things are tight. They may both have lower than average expectations of wealth. They may simply be able to budget better, a skill perhaps learned from their parents.

But if one partner is from a better off family they could end up feeling that their partner is a penny-pincher and resent it.

Money is a big source of conflict for many couples. Because it affects not just day to day life, but also peoples long term aspirations too.

One part of a couple could want to save for a house, for instance, but the other person my see no point in saving, having a more "live for today" attitude. It's easy to see how conflict would result in this scenario.

One person in the partnership could feel the need to be rich - perhaps working more than one job, whereas the other partner may be more accepting of the standard of living they had. This is another possible area of conflict.

Age, some people will attest, doesn't matter. Well, a few years don't matter, but large gaps of ten years plus do.

It is easy to see how the older partner would become less secure if they felt their age was showing more. They may need their self esteem boosting more, and this can lead to them becoming demanding, clingy and perhaps making their partner feel suffocated. They may get jealous which is hugely detrimental to a marriage.

These are just a couple of reasons that marriage compatibility should always be considered.
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