You are in love and you could never imagine in a million years that money could possibly be an issue in your relationship. Unfortunately reality shows us that one of the major causes of a marriage failure is to do with money issues. It is especially common for those in a second marriage.
Many of us have been brought up to be private about our money. It's not the thing to do to talk about our finances with friends and other people -- some consider it to be vulgar. This means that we become reluctant to talk on money issues. The reality is that when you enter marriage you need to be more open with one another -- open and honest.
You both bring to the marriage a different view on finances. You have most likely been brought up to handle money differently. And you will most likely have very different spending personalities. Discussing your spending style is crucial as it is one of the first habits that will show cracks in your relationship. Getting married means looking at these differences, understanding them and coming up with compromises.
Set aside time each month to talk about money issues. Talk about your dreams for the future and the financial cost that this might entail. Do a budget and put money aside for your dream. Respect one another and make sure that each of you has your own money to spend without having to ask the other for permission -- this is a MUST.
Should you share your money and properties? If one of you brings more financial assets to the marriage you need to discuss this sooner rather than later. Further down the road it may become a major money issue. It may not sound romantic but you may even need to have legal documents drawn up to protect each of your assets. None of us likes to think that our marriage will not work but if you can talk honestly while you are still in love you will be fair to one another. A joint account can work well to build your finances together.
Money and marriage do not necessarily go hand in hand with happiness and therefore it is important that you look at money issues from the start with love, understanding, compromise, respect and honesty. Taking this approach can save a lot of heartache and misunderstanding. It will help you to weather some of the financial storms that befall all of us over time and can bring you closer together.
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